Find MORE through LESS

Recently, I’ve ran across an outstanding book of Dr. Lindsay Gibson about the heritage, children of emotionally immature parents have to burden. It is a good read for everyone struggling with setting up personal boundaries, finding a worthiness inside which is not based on outside approval, performance, etc. I might leave a review on the book itself but there is something more interesting I wanted to address today (here’s to faith / coincidences / determination -whatever you like to call it 🙂 )

Checking out the homepage of Dr. Gibson I couldn’t help but read this one particular article of hers about a smart mule… I leave some citations here for you, please find the whole article online here: http://www.drlindsaygibson.com/articles/smart-as-a-mule.

„My father was a businessman, but he also raised beef cattle on the family farm. His wisdom came from these rural roots, and he enjoyed passing it along to his kids. One time he told me about the difference between horses and mules. In the old days, my father said, the smart farmer would not buy a horse to plow his fields. Instead he would get a good mule if he could.

The benefit of a mule over a horse is the fact that a mule will stop when it tires, while a horse will work itself to death. A wise farmer knew that for the momentary inconvenience of a stubborn mule that refused to work further, he got an automatic protection on his investment. No mule is going to work until it expires.

A mule is not a beautiful animal. It is big like a horse, but not graceful, and donkey-like without being cute. But what a mule does have is an uncompromising respect for its physical limits. In spite of its strength and hardiness, it balks at an overload. It does not care how mad you get, or what you think of its character. If it is more than the mule can do, it won’t do it.

The horse, on the other hand, noble animal that it is, takes its cue from what its owner wants. If the job is to keep working no matter what, it will. Horses will work or race until they drop, just because they can. The horse will ignore its exhaustion in order to keep up with the herd (or owner.) By the time a horse knows it has done too much, it can be too late.“

…girls turn into women who give up too much. They learn to feel proud of self-sacrifice, trying to be good wives and devoted mothers. They will keep going in the service of others until their big hearts break from the loss of themselves. Like the overworked, loyal horse, they lose their spark and health, but do not understand why they feel so bad. Customs have fooled them into believing that if they do a good job sacrificing for others, they will be happier and more fulfilled…

 …Exhaustion and listlessness are nature’s way of saying you have given too much…

…I prefer the mule’s approach. The mule just stops. He might be willing to work more later, but for right now, he could not care less what that field looks like. His animal wisdom says that if he wants to live long, he better pay attention to what his muscles are saying.

Women need to do the same thing. The hard part is that so much of women’s energy is spent on emotional work. It is not like having a sore muscle or pulled tendon. Instead it is an energy experience of feeling emotionally drained, zapped, exhausted, or whipped. Women’s life force is experienced emotionally rather than physically. When she has given too much (or said too little), a woman feels the life seeping out of her. But because so much of what she does is not visible or measurable in terms of workload, she does not know how to justify stopping. No one but her can see what it is costing her. By the time others notice, it is probably showing up in the form of depression, anxiety, or a host of psychosomatic illnesses. By the time these symptoms arrive, I guarantee it is late in the last quarter of the race, and someone has kept moving her finish line further and further out.…

…To have a healthy mule mind, you have to keep asking yourself, is this too much? Am I getting tired? What is making me so tired, and how can I do less of it?…

…Pay attention to your inner signals of fatigue or depletion, and take them seriously. Nine-tenths of life is a field that can wait, not a race to be won.“

http://www.drlindsaygibson.com/articles/smart-as-a-mule

I don’t know if there’s anything I can add to these words. I simply LOVE this article and its approach on „performing“ in life. I am not surprised that the wisdom roots in nature, as EVERYTHING worth noticing and understanding. I feel encouraged and amused at the same time: it might just be okay to seem sturdy, edgy, stubborn-ish trying to walk a different path. It always seems ‚off‘ before it isn’t anymore. Before different becomes „normal“ and understood. Keep doing your thing, for you – not against anybody else.

Remember this one:

„To have a healthy mule mind, you have to keep asking yourself, is this too much? Am I getting tired? What is making me so tired, and how can I do less of it?“

xo

Adrienn